yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
