i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
