with your own penis?
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
