I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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