On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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