it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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