I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
