I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
