HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize