You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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