Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
