Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
