would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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