to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
