At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
