and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
