Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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