Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
