Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
