9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
