i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
