i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
