The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You pole danced in your parka.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
