I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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