Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
