weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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