you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
