I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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