her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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