Apparently you make a good broom.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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