He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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