I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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