I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
