I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
