you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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