It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
