Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
