dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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