They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
