just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
