Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
