And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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