The maid of honor just puked.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
