I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
