for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
