i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
