JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
