I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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