check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
