hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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