Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
