vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
