The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you never un-have a 4some
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
