nut hugger
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
