That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
