i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize