Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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