You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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