ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
