ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
COCAINE IS GR8
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
