What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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