Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
