Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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