Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
