i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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